Imagine a résumé for our “subconscious”—that part of us that holds all the stuff we deny, discount, disown, bury or pretend does not exist:

Vengeful, easily victimized, lazy, bad, untrustworthy. Excel at hopelessness and rage, an expert on greed. Not creative. Never finish what I start. Stupid, a loner, damaged goods. Nurture evil thoughts. Certainly unlovable.

No one wants to admit to a dark side—it can be a frightening and shocking experience to our self-image. We spend vast amounts of energy denying and repressing this unwanted inferior self.  

What many of us don’t realize is that the shadow can be a helpful aspect of ourselves that holds the key to transformation—a loyal friend bearing the gifts of depth, integrity, vitality, and wholeness—if we choose to meet it and love it.

“Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once, beautiful and brave,” said poet Ranier Maria...