Why emotional preparation decides how mediation goes

Most people prepare for mediation by gathering documents. Few prepare for the moment the other party says something that makes their pulse jump. That moment is where mediations are won or lost, because a decision made in anger or panic is rarely the decision you would make after a night's sleep.

Mediation also puts you in a room where your conduct is observed in real time. The mediator, the other party and any attorneys are all forming impressions of how you communicate under pressure. Emotional preparation is not about suppressing what you feel. It is about deciding in advance how you will act on it.

What emotional readiness actually means

Being emotionally ready does not mean being calm, over it, or willing to compromise on everything. It means you can do four things while upset:

• Hear a statement you disagree with without interrupting or retaliating.
• Separate what happened from what you fear it means.
• Tell the differenc
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