How do people turn what we say they want into what they actually get?
Many articles, books and workshops advise us to conduct one's self “as if.” Behave as if you already have your dream job. Act as if you’re successful — function from confidence.
If we support the theory behind our actions, it means that we behave in alignment with the intentions we desire, and we’re more likely to achieve it.
Problems will arise when we don’t genuinely want the life we think we want. For example, we may say that we want to find a loving partner, be at our ideal weight, or start our own business but if we honestly don’t want the added responsibilities of behaving “as if,” your effort will be an empty exercise.
So what’s the solution?
Here are some ways I suggest you begin.
First, I recommend you begin slowly. When we decide to make a significant change in our lives, we often try to do too many things at once and find ourselves overwhelmed or discouraged. You need to focus on one thing that’ll get you closer to the “you” you’d like to become.
Next, you'll need to face your resistance. Change is challenging for most of us. Give yourself a chance by being willing to address any underlying beliefs that might be getting in your way.
Don’t just set goals, reflect on them several times throughout your day. Make a list of your life as you’d like it to be – a written representation is often a potent and tangible reminder of what a customized, ideal life looks like.
Start practicing it. Once you can see yourself living you’re desired lifestyle and living as that person, start making the choices that person would make. Your decisions can either reinforce old beliefs or propel new ones to elevated heights.
Make friends with people who are doing what you want to do. Role models are a great way to discover what works and avoid what doesn’t. Ask better questions. Observe these individuals. Change. Grow.
Self-care. Ask yourself, “How does the ideal version of myself express self-love to themselves ?” Then respond accordingly.
Modify your environment to align with your new reality. There’s no better deterrent of change than a stagnant situation that encourages inactive behavior. Contribute to a change in scenery. It can be the accelerator for a positive attitude and behavior change.
Addictive habits die hard. It’s convenient to become stuck with (or comforted by) old lifelong habits. When unproductive routines get in the way of change, the best way to shed them is to replace them with something new.
Grow into it. Make choices in your professional and personal life as though you already have the growth you're dreaming of. That does not mean getting into debt spending “as if” you have the million dollars you’d like to have. I suggest you begin by replacing a scarcity philosophy with one of abundance and well-being.
Behaving “as if” does not mean change occurs overnight. Every day, we’re all faced with choices that will continue to promote the life we have or propel us into the life we want. By choosing to jump into some of the steps above, you’ll be ready to make a decision that can help you realize your dreams sooner rather than later.