Most people who come to me for anger management aren't struggling to feel angry less often. They're struggling because the only tool they've ever been given is suppression: swallow it, count to ten, walk away, say nothing. Suppression isn't management. It's postponement, and postponed anger has a way of showing up later, often somewhere it doesn't belong.

Anger management, done properly, isn't about eliminating the emotion. Anger is information. It usually points at a boundary that got crossed or a need that isn't being met. The skill isn't turning that signal off. It's learning to read it accurately and respond to it deliberately instead of reactively.

Here's the distinction that matters most in my work with clients:

Suppression asks: how do I make this feeling go away right now? Management asks: what is this feeling telling me, and what's the most effective way to act on it?

Suppression is fast and feels like control in the moment. It's also why so many people describe "com...