11 Roots of Interpersonal Conflict

1. Prejudice/bias. Organizational strife is sometimes traced to “personalities.” This is one person differing with another based simply on how he or she feels about that person.

2. Nastiness/stubbornness. Some individuals go through life with a chip on their shoulders and seem to search for combatants.

3. Sensitivity/hurt. This occurs when a person, because of low self-esteem, insecurity, or conflict in his or her life, easily feels attacked by criticism or other interpersonal directness.

4. Differences in perception/values. Most Conflict Results from the varying ways different people view the world. These in-congruent views are traceable to differences in upbringing, culture, race, experience, education, occupation, socioeconomic class, and other environmental factors.

5. Differences over facts. A fact is a  piece of data that can be quantified or an event that can be documented.Arguments over facts typically need to last very long since they are verifiable. But a statement like, “It’s a fact that you are insensitive to my feelings,” is neither documentable, and so is actually a difference in perception.

6. Differences over goals /priorities. An argument about whether a bank should focus more resources on international banking or on community banking is a disagreement over goals. Another example would be whether or not to increase the amount of advanced professional training given to tellers.

7. Differences over method. Two sides may have similar goals but disagree on how to achieve them. For example, how should advanced teller training be conducted? 

8.Competition, for scarce resources. Two managers might argue over who has the greater need for an assistant, whose budget should be in-creased more, or how to allocate recently purchased computers.

9. Competition for supremacy. This occurs when one person seeks to outdo or out-shine another person. You might see it when two employees compete for a promotion or for comparative power in your organization.

10. Misunderstanding . The majority of what looks like interpersonal conflict is actually communication breakdown. Communication, if not attended to with care, is as likely  to fail as to succeed. And when it does, a listener’s unwarranted inferences about a speaker’s intent often create interpersonal conflict.

11. Unfulfilled expectations. Many of the causes listed above contribute to one personal not fulfilling the expectations of another. Unfulfilled expectations are the ultimate cause of divorce, firings, and other forms of relationship breakdown. The major reason that expectations go unfulfilled is that they are unreasonable, inappropriate, too numerous, and unstated.